I had a basketball coach in high school who once called me and another kid “two pieces of (bleep)” because he didn’t think we were cheering loud enough while on the bench. Obviously he became a high school coach because he loved kids. Either that or it was one of the terms of his parole.
I’m still trying to get used to wearing flip-flops, which were named after people with inconsistent voting records. They don’t feel like footwear as much as something a neighbor made out of discarded tire treads. And I don’t mean a clever, enterprising neighbor. I mean that guy down the street whose house will probably one day be surrounded by crime scene tape and cadaver dogs.
Every so often I see people who insist on backing into a parking space. It’s a preference of people who either see themselves as very important or who are planning to rob one of the shops. Either way, police would be justified in shooting out their tires.
Theoretically the drivers want to leave the parking space very quickly. If nothing else, they need to make up for the two hours it took them to back in.
We are having our master bathroom re-done. When you make these kinds of changes to a bathroom, it is called “redecorating”. When a person makes these kind of changes, it is called “cosmetic surgery”. Although, both procedures involve the use of grout.
With redecorating, you usually get a room that is prettier. With cosmetic surgery, you usually get a person whose skin appears to have been pulled back by a team of oxen.