Airplane Bells

I tend to be scared by those little bells that the airlines use during the flight. For one thing, they sound like they might have once been part of a medical device, some machine that alerted doctors when a patient's kidney exploded.

(Bing) "Whoops."

Flying makes me hyper-aware of my own mortality as it is. Thus it doesn't help me to relax when the airplane speakers play a selection called "Sounds of the Emergency Room."

Flight Attendant: We'll be starting the beverage service in a minute. In the meantime, sit back, relax, and enjoy this recording of a heart failure.

And because the airlines use the bells for everything, you don't know if you should just ignore them or request immediate spiritual guidance. Sometimes the bells mean the aircraft has been struck by lightning. Sometimes the bells mean the crew is running low on nuts.