There was a piece in the news about a six-year-old boy in Delaware who was suspended because he brought some camping utensils to school to eat his lunch with. The school said this fell under their zero tolerance for weapons policy. In addition to suspending him, they want to have him sent to a reform school for further discipline.
I think if the school is going to go that route, then they have to be that strict with every policy. For instance, under the policy that no drugs are allowed in school, I think any child found in possession of granulated sugar should be forcibly removed from the premises. He should be cuffed and dragged away by security personnel dressed in full riot gear.If the controlled substance is an artificial sweetener, security should first lob in tear gas and then proceed with some sort of public beating. Ten hits for every packet of Splenda.
Getting back to the weapons problem, any and all utensils should be removed from the cafeteria. After all, based on this school's zero tolerance policy, there is little difference between a surface-to-air missile and a fork. So from now on the kids will eat with their hands, even if the meal that day is soup. Making them eat like household pets is a small price to pay for safety.
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