A newspaper headline said “Many elderly get colon screening too often”. Admittedly that is not a problem that I saw coming. “Earl, I know they’re fun, but you’ve really got to ease up on the colon screenings.” I thought that when you got old you gravitated toward activities like reading and playing cards, hobbies that did not involve being violated by a doctor at any point. Not unless the card game “Go Fish” has changed dramatically over the years.
“Do you have any kings?”
“No. Remove your pants.”
Colon exams usually involve having a camera inserted into your behind. “I think you blinked during that last shot.” It is difficult to believe that people would have that procedure more often than suggested. In fact, it is hard to believe that people would have that procedure without first being threatened with a flame thrower. And what places are offering all these extra screenings? “The new Early Bird Special at Denny’s includes one entree, your choice of soup or salad, and an invasive medical procedure involving your rectum.”