Every summer my wife, Michele, tries to convince me to wear flip flops when we go out somewhere, be it to a restaurant, the supermarket, or hardware stores filled with a lot of low, sharp, metal objects. I tend to not be comfortable in flip flops in public. I feel like someone who got seriously lost on his way to the shower. “I went down the hall to grab a towel, made a wrong turn, and found myself in the lobby of an Olive Garden.”
Also, even if it is 97 degrees out, I’m uncomfortable entering a public restroom in anything less than steel-tipped work boots. That is one location where I don’t want my feet to be dressed free and easy. I’d prefer confined and complicated. Granted, I might look odd wearing a t-shirt and shorts with wing tips. However, at least I won’t exit the men’s room worrying that my feet picked up a virus, various bacteria, and the kind of rust usually only found on industrial plumbing.
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For you it is a matter of choice. For me and the world that I live in it's a matter of a debilitating physical and physiological barrier. Yes, I AM FLIP FLOP CHALLENGED. I can't wear them. Well I can wear them if I don't move. I can't walk and keep them on my feet. I have endured training and ridicule from family and friends as they watch and laugh as I throw them from my feet as I struggle to keep the blasted things on. The best I can manage is a slow nursing home shuffle, keeping the soles of my feet in contact with the ground slowly sliding each foot forward. The only thing missing from the picture is a walker with some handle streamers and a bulb horn to warn of the on coming sloth of a man with flip flops.
Some say say it's my feet, some say it's my mind. I say I don't care because I, like you, prefer the security of at least a sandal with a heel strap, cinched tight like the rope on a bucking bull, ready for 360 degrees of action. At 6'4", 250 I'd rather wear a pink shirt and fringed shorts then be in a pair of the gosh darn things
Posted by: Jeff Owens | June 03, 2011 at 06:37 AM