Nothing in Particular

Concert Screams

Tonight at a concert we sat in front of some girls who screamed like they just sat on something sharp. Theoretically they were just very excited. However, it was difficult to tell from their screams if they were overjoyed or if they just saw someone burst into flames.Maybe they wanted another song or maybe they were trying to signal the paramedics.

 

Serious Bass

Last night after dinner, we tried going with some friends to a bar. However, the bar had a DJ playing music with enough bass to affect your digestive system. Not only could we not talk to each other, but we worried that prolonged exposure to the intense thumping would deteriorate our small intestines. In fact, it was unclear if the extreme bass was there to enhance the music or was part of an experiment to bring down low-flying military aircraft.

 

Rhythm

Our son, Max, has a tendency to swing his head from side to side. It is a behavior that is somewhat common among special needs kids. Of course, it is also common with R&B singers. So although Max is definitely a special needs child, it is possible he will eventually be featured on a Motown tribute album. His head swinging just has this cool rhythm to it. Some people say they hear voices in their heads. Maybe our child hears a selection of Stevie Wonder songs.

What is sad is that my child has better groove and moves when he is just standing around than I do when I am trying to dance. Most people look at me on a dance floor and think that, whatever music I am hearing in my head, it has a tendency to skip. “Cris Cohen presents ‘How to dance to a contaminated sound file.’”

Auditory Assault

Last night at a concert, a group of drunken women who were sitting near us talked through the entire show. They had loud, obnoxious voices capable of drowning out grenade explosions. A number of people in the immediate vicinity got really angry. I think some even took up a collection to hire a contract killer.

Experiments gone awry

Sadly, this is what happens when you cross-breed a butterfly with a member of Kool & the Gang.

The Go-Go's

The Go-Go's reunion concert became a little awkward after they murdered the bass player.

The English Beat

Saw the band The English Beat in Charlotte last night. They are amazingly uplifting. It's to the point where they could change their name from "The English Beat" to "Legal Narcotic With No Adverse Side Effects". Although that might be difficult to fit on the buttons they sell.

Sour note

After reviewing the footage of the event, authorities determined this was the moment when Tim decided to shove the horn up Steve's rectum.

Class Act

Kanye West interrupts play by local third graders. Says play by fourth graders was much better.

The VMAs

I know it stands for Video Music Awards, but to me "the VMAs" sounds like a sexually transmitted disease.

"Last night I got a VMA!"

"I've begged you to wear protection."