As part of a job, I recently had to take one of those personality tests. “According to these results, you have no personality.” Based on how you answer a series of questions, you are told whether you are extroverted, introverted, creative, analytical, lactose intolerant, Asian … They get a strange amount of information out of some multiple choice questions. “Based on your answers to the questions about justice, we believe that you have a low sperm count.”
Most questions are fairly straight forward. “When you have free time, would you rather sit and read or steal a city transit bus?” Some are a little more esoteric. “True or false: The current economic crisis is best represented by a medium-sized zucchini.”
Somehow, with a few questions like these, the creators of the test can look into your soul.
“Thank you for completing the test. We have alerted the authorities.”
“What? Wait! Can I change my answer about mufflers?”
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